Woodsman Criminals
When rumors start going around of Phineas's participation in a past tournament he gets kidnapped and he his life is on the risk unless he starts committing crimes for them. These are no ordinary criminals these are the Ralsonville Ridges (Thanks Ferbluvr) a trio of soulless criminals. Prologue It's a normal day at a bank, people are in line. Everything seems utterly normal. A large man wearing a ski mask, sunglasses, a baggy black jumpsuit, black boots, and black gloves comes in with a sledgehammer. He tosses a guy and takes down the velvet ropes and metal stands. He threatens people with the sledgehammer and runs up to the counter. He jumps over and tosses a man working there. He approaches a safe and starts smashing away at the lock. The lock breaks off and he pulls out a burlap sack. He takes seven million dollars from the safe in hundreds, fifties, twenties, tens, and quarters. A man tries to lock him inside, but there is a handle inside, allowing him to escape. He hits the man with his money sack and the man spits up two fluid ounces of blood. Another woman tries to stop him and in response, he sandwiches her between his sledgehammer and the wall. The woman falls, not dead, but unconscious. He grabs a man and flips him to the tile floor. A six foot nine man attack him and he throws him and nearly hits a pregnant woman. Her husband and punches his gut. The man spins around, and elbows the guys nose and he crashes into an ATM machine. The robber send a man flying by thrust kicking him in the gut. He escapes and a man on the ground gently says “The Ralsonville Ridges have struck again.” He then passes out. Another woman says "Maybe we should've taken them seriously even when they were called The Loyal Order of the Baked Potato." Chapter 1: Arena Replay Connor wakes up and starts playing with Celeste's long hair. He is twirling it around and braids and unbraids her hair and she wakes up. Celeste braids the front strands of both sides in braids and waits for the everyone to wake up. Connor gets out his club-sword and Celeste asks “Are you sure you should be doing that?” Connor says “It wouldn't hurt to practice.” Celeste “Just be careful.” Connor accidentally hits someone, it's Chloe. Chloe wakes up and Connor apologizes. Celeste is trying to help Chloe with the black and blue mark on her leg. Connor points out “I could've had the top off.” Chloe responds “I'd need a prosthetic leg then.” Connor says “Well at least you could still walk with one.” Charlie wakes up and sees Chloe and asks “What happened?” Connor explains “I accidentally hit her in the leg with the 15 pound club-sword.” Charlie looks at Connor and says “Why?” Connor responds “I'm sorry, geez.” Phineas wakes up and says “Morning guys.” Connor says “I see your talking again.” Isabella glares at him and Connor replies “Come on, we couldn't understand anything he said yesterday.” Isabella says “True.” Mikey randomly points out “Oh look, the Ralsonville Ridges struck again.” Connor complains “They still haven't captured them.” Phineas asks “Who are the Ralsonville Ridges?” Isabella continues “And why do you want them captured?” Sahil tells “The Ralsonville Ridges are like a mafia who have been committing crimes for decades. They are wanted by the police. We have discovered two of their identities, but they can't be found.”Ferb asks “Why not?” Connor explains “Ralsonville is hidden in a dense forest so no one can find us,the only people who know about Ralsonville are the citizens and their families, and you guys.” Luka articulates “Don't forget the economy.” Oselia explains “We don’t wanna get involved with worldly conflicts so we stay hidden.” Connor lets them know “We don't even know what state we live in.” Elisabeth asks politely “Can we please get back to the Ralsonville Ridges?” Charlie says “Right, they are hidden in the dense forests. It's the perfect hiding place because to get to the forest you have to climb up a ninety foot slope. At some points it's near vertical. Once you get to the top, you have to navigate through some obstacles like really wet mud. Then, you get to the thick forest. It's like walking through green molasses, except without all the stickiness.” Elisabeth asks “Should we be worried.” Connor says “Probably” Later that day, Charlie, Mikey, Chloe, and Oselia are watching something on TV. Connor comes in and asks “Whatcha watchin'?” Charlie replies “Something in your bags.” Connor says “No, don't.” Mikey says “Look at this, I can't believe this almost happened to her.” Jenna is seen on screen with her ax. She hears rustling in the trees. She chops down the branch and Elisabeth falls out. Her spear is too far for her to reach. Jenna is about to kill Elisabeth, when she stops. She says “Wait, you're that girl who volunteered for Celeste.” She helps her up. Elisabeth readies her spear. Jenna says “Don't worry I won't hurt you. After you saved my best friend, it's the least I can do.” Oselia says “Oh, there's this part where this girl is fighting of beavers so this kid with goggles and black hair tries to sedate her to save the beavers and he dips his dart in the wrong poison and ends up killing her. She's then eaten by beavers.” Connor realizes “That's why she didn't do anything.” Mikey says “Oh my gosh.” Connor looks and sees Phineas holding Ashley as she says her final words. Connor says “That's why I didn't want you watching.” Charlie says “I can't believe what Phineas did.” Connor says “You might as well continue.” The bodies of Jacques and Ashley are sucked out of the arena. Phineas says appalled and shocked also a little disgusted “The vacuum is used to suck the bodies out of this arena.” Mikey says “There are so many words I want to say that I'm not allowed to. I just wish I knew where to start.” Twenty minutes later the video ends. Phineas pops in and says “I completely regret what I did. Why did I do it?”As they walk away Phineas realizes “Wait they didn't know I was joking? Connor didn't say this was all fake and no one got hurt." Chapter 2: Rumors Phineas says “So you guys know-.” Mikey says “It's cool, you have every reason, that kid was a sadist I would never forgive him for what he did to Ashley and the other boy, you did it to protect Elisabeth, I'm proud of you for saving her.” Phineas says “But listen it was, wait Connor why did you bring the DVD?” Connor tells him “I brought the wrong one come on let's go to Luka's.” Screen switches to Luka's house which is a large condo that has cobalt stairs leading to the roof, a white hallway leading to three bedrooms. There is a kitchen with mahogany counters with a granite counter tops. A huge refrigerator, several cabinets and drawers, a microwave oven, dual ovens, a five burner stove top, a dishwasher, pantry, and a chrome sink. In the family room are some couches and a TV. Isabella exclaims “How could you let them watch that?” Connor says “It was too late.” Sahil is walking on the street and he sees a guy with black hair, dark brown eyes, dark tan skin, and is semi muscular. The man says “So uh, what's the new gossip, kid?” Sahil responds “Do I know you?” The man says “No, but my friends call me Moreno Puma.” Sahil replies “What does that mean?” Moreno Puma says “Moreno is Spanish for dark hair or dark skinned, both of which, I am. Puma means tiger which I have the stealth and power of.” Sahil says “Well-” Charlie is playing with Chloe's hair. Chloe takes off her shirt and everyone resumes normally. Chloe says “Wow, I'm surprised you guys aren't telling me to keep my shirt on.” Marius replies “You've really wanted to so we think it's fair if we let you.” Phineas asks “Why do you do that?” Chloe responds “I worry people will only like me for the wrong reasons so I give them reasons not to, and mostly because it's just fun.” Austin asks “Where's Sahil?” Phineas adds “And Perry?” Mikey answers” “Sahil is on his way here and Perry is outside.” Perry is trying to find an entrance to his lair where he encounters Pedro the Penguin. Pedro qacks and his translator translates “Ssssssssssshhhhh, do you want everyone here to know about the you know what?” Perry shakes his head. Pedro leads him to a secret entrance hidden in a mud puddle. They jump into the wrong mud puddle and get muddy. They jump into the right one. Connor asks “So guys what do you wanna talk about.” Elisabeth answers “ISCSU.” Connor replies “Guys, get over it.” Elisabeth responds “I am, it's just I'm confused.” Connor explains “Another thing about ISCSU is that there are at least 300 kids in it and they are split into groups of five. My allies are Nicole Krueger who, despite her short stature, is a tough fighter skilled with daggers and throwing knives. Virgilio Murillo, who is able to make a weighted club out of just about anything. A lamp, a bread knife, even a beach ball. Kaitlyn Reha, who is mastered at throwing ponderous weights and is very clever. Brandon Akehurst, who is a master manipulator and is seductive. He also majors with poisons. Elisabeth responds “Okay, I'm now nervous.” Mikey sprints over to help ease her. Perry is trying to find an entrance to his lair where he encounters Pedro the Penguin. Pedro qacks and his translator translates “Ssssssssssshhhhh, do you want everyone here to know about the you know what?” Perry shakes his head. Pedro leads him to a secret entrance hidden in a mud puddle. They jump into the wrong mud puddle and get muddy. They jump into the right one. Connor asks “So guys what do you wanna talk about.” Elisabeth answers “ISCSU.” Connor replies “Guys, get over it.” Elisabeth responds “I am, it's just I'm confused.” Connor explains “Another thing about ISCSU is that there are at least 300 kids in it and they are split into groups of five. My allies are Nicole Krueger who, despite her short stature, is a tough fighter skilled with daggers and throwing knives. Virgilio Murillo, who is able to make a weighted club out of just about anything. A lamp, a bread knife, even a beach ball. Kaitlyn Reha, who is mastered at throwing ponderous weights and is very clever. Brandon Akehurst, who is a master manipulator and is seductive. He also majors with poisons. Elisabeth responds “Okay, I'm now nervous.” Mikey sprints over to help ease her. Chapter 3: The Ralsonville Ridges The Ralsonville Ridges arrive at Luka's house. They knock on the door and Luka asks Phineas to get it. Phineas gets it and is usurped. He can't scream for help because they duct taped his mouth. Marius asks “So how did those wires execute Sarita?” Connor responds “Oh see, I used threw my exploding disk up. It cut through the wires then blew off one of those things that holds them up when it detonated. They swung down and fried her body.” Isabella responds “I can't stop thinking of Alexander's plan.” Chloe responds “Yeah, and it was only for attention.” Connor is spaced out and Mikey snaps him out of it. Connor says “Sorry, it's just, right before he attack you there is something about his piercing gray eyes you will never disremember. His eyes are like the core of a storm cloud illuminated by a burst of lightning.” Isabella asks “Where's Phineas?” Phineas is taken to a forest. Has his and and feet tied together, and Phineas asks “Who are you?” A large man with moderate skin, light blue eyes, and dark brown hair says “The Ralsonville Ridges. We heard about what you did.” Phineas responds “Wait, that was just an act, none of that ever happened it was just entertainment. Everyone is fine.” A man with light orange hair, red eyes, and tan skin say “That's a disappointment.” Phineas mutters then exclaims “Ralsonville Ridges, wait Connor said they were hold on, you guys are criminals.” Moreno Puma points to him, the man with orange hair, then the large man saying “Yes meet Moreno Puma, Fireball, and Muddy Sky.” Phineas asks “Are those your real names?” Fireball says “No, just alias.” Muddy Sky slaps Fireball to the ground and says “Thanks for exposing us.” Back at Luka's house everyone is continuing to talk completely oblivious to Phineas's kidnapping. Charlie says “Unlike most Ralsonville citizens, both my parents are from America mainly because all my ancestors are Native American.” Mikey says “Believe it or not, each of his grandparents each had one tribe in them.” Charlie says “My dad's dad is Arapaho, my dad's mom is Zapotec, my mom's dad is Kupa, and my mom's mom is Yurok.” Elisabeth responds “Wow, that's, unique.” Isabella responds “Do you agree Phineas? Phineas?” Everyone notices Phineas is missing. Connor asks “Where'd he go?” Chloe responds “What if the Ralsonville Ridges captured him.” Isabella starts to have a panic attack. Celeste replies “Well, we don't have proof he was.” Sahil admits “Well.” Sahil starts to admit “I sorta told this one guy about what happened in that video.” Isabella pushes Sahil into the wall by his neck. It takes 45 seconds to get Isabella off. Connor asks “What is wrong with you?” Sahil continues “Yeah, you can't strangle people.” Connor informs him “I was talking to you, Sahil. With people knowing that he could be kidnapped by, the Ralsonville Ridges.” Oselia screams “Seriously, stuff like that should stay secret.” Sahil repsonds “You know just because I can act arrogant, doesn't mean I don't have feelings too.” Chloe asks “Why would you do that?” Sahil responds “Well-” Chloe interrupts “It was a rhetorical question.” Connor exclaims “Let's split up to find him.” Isabella is searching for Phineas. She is wearing an orchid colored bandanna and is chewing her hair. Connor comes upon her and asks “Where did you get the bandanna?” Isabella flinches and says “Oh it's you, some girl gave it to me and said I should wear it or I may be seen as an intruder.” Connor responds comprehensively “Oh yeah her dad owns tons of bandannas and she doesn't want people to get hurt. Take her advice as long as you wear that, people will think you aren't an intruder.” Isabella catechizes “What do they do with intruders?” Connor ripostes “They are purged by the execution council.” Isabella replies worryingly “There's an execution council?” Connor retorts “Oh yeah they decide the fate of the people on death row, not that there is many. In fact, there are only 2 or 3 at the moment.” Isabella asks “What kind of fates do they suffer?” Connor answers “Depends on the charges it can vary from beaten with a club, pit of venomous snakes, and even fed Venero berries.” Isabella replies “Venero berries aren't poisonous.” Connor informs “They are when the thorn punctures them but that can only be done intentionally and we make sure the berries are safe before we eat them.” Isabella asks “How are the thorns baneful but the berries aren’t?” Connor counterclaims “The berries sprout with hard leaves around them and the older they grow, the leaves unfold and spread out into thorns.” Chapter 4: Metal Box Back in the forest, Phineas is still tied up and the Ralsonville Ridges are trying to decide what to do with him. Fireball says “I say we bury him alive 4 feet deep.” Moreno Puma protests “No, we should either put Venero poison in his food, let the Ingomonkeys eat him alive by covering him with ingoberries, or hang him from a tree and electrocute him repeatedly.” Muddy Sky realizes “Hold on, he can commit our felony acts.” Phineas asks “Why would I do that?” Fireball responds “I have an idea.” Category:Stories Category:Fanon Works Category:Article stubs Category:Articles under construction Category:TotalDramaRox97's Pages